Dates; Where to go, and what to eat.

I’m not going to give you specific locations for this one, I’m going to give you broad food types and explain why you should give them a shot. The important thing here is always go the place before your date. Case the joint, figure out what it looks like, if you can’t afford to grab food there without a good reason, (i.e, you really want to impress this person so they’ll sleep with you) google it to the hilt and check out the reviews.

Adventurous dates for both parties are fine, great even, but not for the first three dates. Why three? Because if they’ve gone out with you three times, they’re probably willing to look past a date that turns into a mess and gives you food poisoning as a good story. I’ll also cover types of food you should eat in these places, because trust me, slurping noodles or getting covered in burger sauce is not sexy.

SUSHI/Japanese food

Sushi bars are one of the best places to go for dates. Why? Because they’re cool as hell. Good ones usually have a chef out the front doing some cool tricks with knives and stuff. Watching sushi construction is impressive and makes you, the person who decided to come here, look all cosmopolitan and interesting. Good Japanese restaurants are also pretty goddamn cool, because Japanese food is usually a safe bet for people being willing to eat it, with things like Katsu, Ramen and Dumplings having reached most of the world already.

What to eat: Make sure you eat something like Sushi or dumplings, because you can easily eat them with chopsticks, and they are not messy at all.

ProTip:  Make sure your date is okay with fish, otherwise this could end fast.


I’m not talking 4Star here. Where you want to eat is a place where the people wave their hands all the time and the only thing you can hear from the kitchen is Loud Angry Italian. Pizza is universal, and good pizza is hard to beat. Pizza is also good because it’s a sharing food, which is a sort of relationshipy thing.

What to eat: It goes two ways here, if you know the menu well, order the best pizza on it. Talk about why you like it and chose it, seem knowledgeable. If you don’t really know the menu, go with something simple, Neapolitan is solid here, and talk about how it’s got UNESCO world heritage status, because that makes you seem like you have good taste, and you’re smart. In Italian restaurant’s Gnocchi is good, because it’s delicious but comes a little from the left field.

ProTip:  If your date doesn’t like pizza… Stop. Back Away. Turn around. Don’t look back. You don’t need that sort of negativity.

Breakfast & Brunch Bars

This is a bit of a morning after food, but it’s important you get these right as well, so there are more mornings in the future. Jesus, I am disgusted at myself for writing something that cheesy. Look. French toast, crepes, and fluffy pancakes are the easiest way into anyone’s heart. You can’t go wrong with breakfast pastries, just try to avoid too much fried food, because that looks a bit greasy, and that’s probably not the vibe you want.

What to eat: French Toast is amazing. Get it with some whipped cream and fruit and it’s the best thing. You don’t need to worry too much about it being too messy either, just don’t eat it in one piece.

ProTip:  Most breakfast places don’t do reservations, so figure out when a good time to drop by is, the easiest way to do this is pop by one day and ask the staff politely. If your date doesn’t like brunch, well, see above with Pizza.

General tips.

Any food that could potentially be slurped is best avoided for the first few dates.

Burritos are a goddamn no go. But if you can find an authentic Mexican place, that’s a different kettle of fish.

Tapas and Wine are good, but it’s not a dinner date, it’s more a light afternoon repast thing, or a prelude to drinking.

Eastern Mediterranean food is great, Turkish and Lebanese is especially fire, but make sure you aren’t going somewhere with big greasy kebabs, you want more along the lines of mezze plates and hummus.

I love Indian. But don’t take someone to an Indian until you’ve had hungover morning sex with them and are completely comfortable in their presence.