Cyber Sex: World of Lovecraft

Written By Leeroy Jenkins.

Take yourself back to your youth and imagine being that socially-awkward teenager with free access to a computer and a dial-up internet connection. You find hair sprouting in new places, your body growing, changing in different ways and a drastic sudden development; libido. I think it was only natural that I turned to the internet to develop my sexual experiences further. Despite not being able to achieve orgasm yet, the world of cybering began to give me a raging clue and there was no place better suited for a thirteen-year-old to find real life lust than World of Warcraft.

Mind you, I was already playing World of Warcraft (WoW) because of some friends but once we all parted ways, I didn’t really have any ties to any particular “realm” anymore. Realms are different servers that divide groups of people depending on how you want to play and where you are in the world. When creating a new character, you were given the choice to join a server that is Player versus Player, Player vs Environment or, most importantly to this article, Roleplaying.

If you’ve never heard of roleplaying, the concept is simple: you pretend to be your character entirely. Need to convey information about a boss-fight? You do it like you’re a real level 42 Night Elf warrior and you’d better do it convincingly so your friends don’t mock you. Roleplaying realms were all about telling stories. You were trying very hard to tell the story of your character and in doing that, you had to interact with everyone else’s story too. People lived full fantasy lives through their characters. These full fantasy lives included full fantasy sex.

Once I started associating the tingly feeling in my tight pants with the seductive private message “ u want sum fuk?”, it was all downhill from there. I should’ve just turned to porn, god only knows how much better a life I could’ve lived! As it was though, I quickly switched to a roleplaying realm and started a new character. I could hear the private message pings and aggressive erections waiting for me already.

I was a thirteen-year-old with a harem of “women” at my every beck and call. I put women in quotes because a lot of men roll female characters for their own kinks but boy did I not know that at the time. Young and naive, I learned so much about the female form and how it reacts from people who were just as virginally-gifted as I was at the time. Looking back, rocking up to the Goldshire Inn and hitting on a female character at the tavern bar with lines like “Nice pants, baby. What’s the drop rate?” – what was I thinking? I take time every now and again to let my mind drift back to those days to remind myself of the cringe I’m borne from.

Admittedly, I don’t regret that time in my life. As much as I joke about wishing I’d grown up informed by porn, WoW gave me a lot of friends who I could turn to with questions about sex and relationships – real women this time, I checked. I made a lot of friends out of weird and awkward premises and I got a very early education in how sex isn’t always a big deal but sometimes it can ruin friendships. Cyber sex sounds like a weird, loser like thing to do as a young teenager but it matured me in a way I really appreciate now. Being open about your preferences and your limits, as well as being truthful about yourself, forms a solid base for any relationship; and are all things I learned from a stout female dwarf in Ironforge who had a thing for Night Elves and bondage.